ATTENTION WRITERS - Here is your chance to share your work. Send us your short stories to be published on-line. Click here for details Don't Delay

LATEST UPDATES


December 15
New reviews in
The Book Nook,
Illustrated Corner and
Voices From the Past


December 9



December 1, 2017
Updated Convention Listings and
Rocky Horror Picture Show


November
Book Pick
of the Month




November 15
New reviews in
The Book Nook,
Odds and Ends and
Voices From the Past


November 12



November 1, 2017
Updated Convention Listings and
Rocky Horror Picture Show


Previous Updates

WesternSFA



You're a Vampire: That Sucks!
A Survival Guide
by "Count" Domenick Dicce
Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, $12.95, 150pp
Published: October 2015

Shhhh. I was NOT supposed to get a copy of this so if, you are reading this: try not to let any supernaturals know where you got the info contained herein!

Okay: here’s the skinny: this is a nicely illustrated short-and-sweet survival guide for those of the vampiric persuasion. Duuhh.

There’s a lot of info here. And some surprising myths are destroyed: They can cross running water, they have a reflection! They do not need to keep in contact with their “native” soil. (Think of all the mess!) They do not burst into flames—but they do turn to dust when finally killed (and sunlight, decapitation and stakes through the heart are the major forms of death. Actually: death by other vampires is a high possibility, as a well.)

This tells you how to survive eternity if you DO get turned.

And just so you know, fangirls and boys: vampires are not fond of teenaged- vampires---All that angst!! For eternity!! (Also, to set the record straight—vampires are fully functioning non-breeding creatures. But seriously NOT interested in a mortal lover. )

According to the guide—let’s get this clear---they are not fond of turning just anyone into a vampire in general because it’s a big change and Dracula knows they don’t want some sulky sourpuss wandering eternity whining about being undead. Vampires prefer that their existence remain the myth of Hollywood and literature and not a common street truth.

The guide gives you clues on how to live eternity pleasantly, how to set up your household and safe space for sleeping (coffins optional—but they do have their uses), how to train and use a human familiar—since in many cases they can do the practical things during the day when a vampire can’t. Even career choices for those recently turned. There is also a listing of the Supreme Vampire Laws and a few other rules. Vampire society is not some loose collection of eternally rabid monsters. Mostly.

Blood? Human is best of course, but almost all animals work in a pinch (but don’t think of turning Fido into an eternal familiar: it won’t work. However---vamps do have the power to call animals to them).

This is all I have time to say. Check this out. But discreetly!

P.S. Elves and Werewolves exist!!! ~~ Sue Martin (just a nom de plume. Really.)

Follow us

for notices on new content and events.

Our Columns:

The Book Nook
Reviews of the latest in science fiction and fantasy

The Illustrated Corner
Reviews of the latest in Manga and Graphic Novels

Odds and Ends
Reviews of non-genre items our staff enjoyed
(Can be books, movies, TV shows or music)

Voices from the Past
Reviews of genre books from the past (at least 20 years old)
and those which are Out of Print but still wonderful to read

A Chat with
Interviews with people of interest
Current Interview: Brandon Sanderson

Author Appearance & News
This page lists author signings and appearances, convention news
and any other events we think might interest our readers.

Reel Talk
Reviews of current genre movies in the theater
and favorite and new DVD releases

A Tale Told Thusly
A place for new and established writers to show off their short stories

Trivia Contests

In Remembrance
Memories of those who have passed on



WesternSFA Main Page

Links of Interest

Email Us

Disclaimer

Copyright ©2005-2017 All Rights Reserved
(Note that external links to guest web sites are not maintained by WesternSFA)
Comments, questions etc. email WebMaster